Reflective Essay

When I knew that we had to write a reflective essay for our last assignment, I immediately thought of a few of the writings that we did, the Camus paper, the college essay, the Joyce paper and the research paper. My mind told me that there are more writings, so I tried to remember. But I failed to remember all, because I did the most writings in this year than my other years in high school. Certainly, I feel proud because I know I’ve definitely improved.

Before starting this assignment, a couple scenes of me being in the class arose in my mind. Almost everyday I came to English class with a heavy backpack, a purple binder which has a composition book inserted in its pocket and a heart ready for Mr. G’s overacting and surprises. Seating in a crowded class, I felt insignificant, but tried my best to concentrate. I know that the notes from Mr. G and comments from classmates would help clarifying my misunderstandings, so I focused on taking notes, especially for Joyce’s “A Portrait of the artist as a young man”.

I did not start off the year with a solid thesis, good evidences and an active tone. Even though I was sure that I did put efforts in all my papers, my papers were always vague. I did not know how to be specific. It was when we had to write our college essays, I started to panic, because I really wanted to do well but I lack the confidence. Happily, Mr. G showed us model college essays and created his seven guild lines for writing the college essay. “Be personal and concrete” was what I followed through my entire essay. And I certainly “include anecdotes” when I was writing. I realized that being specific was basically giving details clearly.

I improved in being detailed when we had to describe the 1000 words for only one painting. Indubitably, I was startled after I heard about the assignment, knowing that I have never described anything for more than 500 words. As Mr. G calmed us by saying “A good painting can worth a thousand words”, I only picture how I would fall into sleep while doing the assignment.

Sitting in front of my computer, worried and helpless, I took a glance at the painting and only saw a man in red, a horse, a few trees and a few boats on the sea. I doubted that if I can really finish the assignment; I even started comforting myself by thinking that a 15 out of 20 would not be so bad. And I finally get my self started. In the process of noticing the order of what my eyes see, and thinking of color, space and dimension, I let myself free write as much as I can. Surprised by myself, I had already done a few chunks of paragraphs after the free write. For the first time, I successfully described a painting in details. Later, I connected the painting with its title and my theory to develop the thesis. And I drew my conclusion lastly to make my assignment up to a thousand and twenty-five words. Relieved, I eventually went to sleep.

As the year progresses, my thesis started to be solidified, my evidences became specific, and my tone was more active. I believe the analysis of Page 9 of A Humument is my best analytical essay in the year. I focused on my thesis and backed it with fine explanations. It was also interesting that I had to come up with a reasonable explanation for each of the images and sentences on the page. By doing that, I learned that nothing is stupid if you have your argument point with good evidences.

This year, I put the most focus in English than I had ever before, not just because I had the most assignments, but also because I had the most interest in English. I was not just given books to read and essays to write; I was exposed to many kinds of art and literature. I saw the performance of Ted Berrigan on Red Sift, Ferrini’s movie in Charles Olson, the ballet performance of Ophelia’s death and Mr.G’s over acting. I also read the most possibly bazaar reading, “The Stranger”, the most possibly difficult reading “A portrait of the artist as a young man” and the most possibly powerful tragedy, “Hamlet”. Loving art myself, I wish I’ll be able to see art again in literature, which would make me enjoy learning English.

Romantic Jess

The untitled piece from Jess' exhibiton, "Jess: To and From the Printed Page"

ROMANTIC JESS


Jess Collins, who is often known by Jess, was born on August 6, 1923 in Long Beach, California. But he spent his childhood in Southern CA suburbs. Jess has already kindled a passion for art when he was little, because he had an aunt who taught him to make crafts. However, Jess went to California Institute of Technology and majored in Chemistry instead of Art. During his sophomore year in CIT, Jess was drafted to the military to serve in the Manhattan Project, which is a project to make bombs as nuclear weapons for use in WWII. After Jess was discharged, he went back to CIT and obtained his chemistry degree in 1948. (Gluck, 118-119)

After college, Jess found a job in the General Electric Laboratories, where required him to move to Richland, Washington. Jess was working on the Hanford project that requires him to produce plutonium. During the job, he developed a horrible dream. He believed that the world would be destroyed in 1975. Because of this belief, Jess worried about his life in the limited time, thus he rethink for his career. Finally, Jess decided to abandon his career in Chemistry, and chose to pursue Art, “I decided if the collapse of the world was going to be the case I wanted to do something truly meaningful. Art was far more meaningful than making plutonium”. Jess admits this by saying “I’ve always had a passion in Art, but somehow, Science got in the way…” (Duncan, 160)

After quitting his job, Jess first wanted to go to the University of California, Berkely. However because of his chemistry background, the school officials asked him to do psychological test. Never again giving up Art, Jess enrolled another art school, California School of the Arts, which is now San Francisco Art Institute. Jess started studying Art in the year of 1949. In school, Jess had some tremendous teachers. He had Clyfford Still, David Park, Hassel Smith and William Corbett. Still and Park were the ones who inspired Jess the most, “Still always wanted [us] to paint with ‘person truth’, rather than the canons of modernist ot avant –garde theory…David Park’s drawing classes were important to me…we were told to do a drawing in a minute…this released me to discover images.” (Auping, “Interview with Jess”.19-27) Also, Jess’ favorite teacher was Ed Corbett that he complimented “Ed has a way of evoking things from you. His paintings seemed much less about technique than a certain mood…” (Auping, “Interview with Jess” 118-127)

Dedicating himself to art, Jess rather to break the relationship with his family and dropped his last name to only address himself as “Jess”. He wants to only focus on Art. In 1951, Jess finally found one who can help him developing his art. Robert Duncan is the one who met Jess from a poetry circle, and later who started a relationship with Jess. Jess and Duncan shared a house in San Francisco. They usually have poetry meetings in the house where they invite only a certain people, since Jess does not like to be in the crowd to be faced by people, or even be noticed by someone. (“Jess 1923-2004”. Artweek. 35)

In Jess’ life, he did numerous paintings and collages. He usually based on the themes of chemistry, alchemy, and male beauty. Jess’ famous work separated into three main sections Translation, the Savages, the paste ups. Nevertheless, Jess’ art are romantic since he collaborates his works with poetry and he often does illustrations for poems and book covers. (Auping, “Song of Innocence”. 245)
In Jan, 2004, Jess died in house at the age of 80. He left us not only his beautiful works but also his romanticism.

Jess has three major types of work, the Translations, the Savages, and the Paste Ups. The Translations is a series of works that Jess translates to his style from photographs or others’ artworks. The Savages is a series of unfinished works by him and other painters that Jess finished. And the Paste Ups is a series of collages that Jess has done using cut outs from random magazines or book. Producing all these works, Jess discovered the style Romanticism all fell in love with it. He often added his own emotions through developing an imagination on each of his pieces.

Translations is Jess’ first type of art. In it, Jess did paintings from photographs, but he painted them in different colors and he converted them to his romantic style. And most of the photographs Jess uses were from the 19th century. This is why Jess claims that he was “translating” the photographs. According to Jess, this process of translating “enlarges a found image and translates its graphic presence into fluid, tactile pigment…and it involves a series of “events” to give the mood and spirit.” (Auping, “Interview with Jess”.118-127)

Translation is also a metaphor for Romanticism which Jess holds between image, allegory and nonobjective paintings. To jess, it is like coloring a book. He usually began with pencil drawings, and then filled the drawings with layers and layers of paint. Sometimes, the layers could rise from the canvas as much as two inches. (Auping, “A Grand Collage”. 25-26)

Savages is Jess’ second type of art. In it, he finished the unfinished paintings by either himself or other painters. Jess usually adds in his own imagination and mood into those unfinished paintings, so he changed the intended ideas of the other artists or himself. Since from Still, Jess learned to paint with “personal truth”, which focuses on the mood he has while painting, rather than the rules of the modernist.

Even though Jess painted slowly, he enjoyed painting “something intuitively” during which his mood might change many times. Jess believes that when you put simple images together, a kind of dialogue or story would develop automatically and the colors arrive in the painting “for the sake of the painting and not for my intellectual sake”. (Auping, “Interview with Jess”. 19-27) A painting is a kind of collage of the emotions that affects him during the course of its making. Jess started to develop his beliefs, after learning an ability from Skill “to accept an image on the canvas for what the paint would do…rather than what was supposed to be good, right, or proper on painting.”

From his Chemistry theory, Jess believes that “all matter is energy and all matter and energy are infused with spirit” which means all things have spirits themselves. Therefore, Jess doesn't set up for a particular meaning to come forth. (Pee, 83) And obviously, Jess did not stick with only one way of thinking.

Jess’ Paste Ups are his third type of art. He usually found images and pictures from old magazines and books. He would cut out the pictures he wanted and glue them on the collage. Speaking of this process, Jess has special scissors and knives to cut out the pieces. He would then play around with the pieces by moving them until he is satisfied with his imagination. Jess also wears his handmade blindfold when working on his collage, since then he can prevent him from peeking the periphery which might cause him to stray away from his thoughts.

In Jess’ early collages, he used advertising images and slogan to express satire and absurdity in sexuality and politics. The images and words he used stand in for each other. And the books Jess used are ranging fro visual and literary cultures from Gnostic texts and Greek poetry to collections of Harper’s Bazaar and Scientific American.

“An allegory is the way anyone person sees and interprets the structure of reality” (Mario, 47)Jess believes. He knows that allegory which comes from imagination is crucial in solidifying his style, Romanticism. Because Romanticism discloses reality mainly through allegory.

Romanticism, being Jess’ style, is an artistic and literary movement which started in the 18th century in Western Europe. Romanticism is a revolt against the logistics of nature and the social and political restrictions. Romanticism is usually deeply developed in art and literature. (“Historical Consideration”)

The strong characteristic of Romanticism was emotion, because emotion creates imaginations, especially the emotion of horror. Other focuses of emotions are affections, sorrows, and romantic longings. Like other Romantic artists, Jess likes to use emotion to develop imaginations to their works in order to horrify and amaze the audience (“Historical Consideration”)

Since, Romantic artists tend to present their imaginations and creativity, Jess tended to created works that are dynamic and striking. Imagination is the necessary for creating art; it can help the society to remind of reality. It reminds of reality when the artist invokes conflicts inside the audience, such as painting a scene that people were killing each other in a war. It also emphasizes on the importance of intuition, instincts, and feelings, which denotes the importance of emotion. And most of the time, artists create reality after they perceive it. Imagination is the ultimate solution human for beings to face themselves to the contraries in the world. (“Historical Consideration”)

Symbolism and myth are significant as well. Symbol is the representation of objects or ideas. It is valued because it can suggest ideas and also allow the development of imaginations. Particularly, symbols can sometimes explain the "inexpressible". (“Historical Consideration”)

Being one of the Romantic artists, Jess dismissed the idea that everything in the universe works systematically and on its own. Instead, he believes everything cooperate to make the universe work. This caused Jess to sometimes feel ambivalent while living in both his own imaginary world and the social world around him. As a result, Jess often separated himself from the public. He stayed home almost the rest of his life after Duncan’s death.

Since Jess usually interpreted things through his emotions, his art works are sometimes attached with his rebellion toward the social world. Though art, Jess was able to declare his individuality and differences to the social world.

Many of Jess’ art works are romantic, such as the two “Paste Ups” I picked. They are the Mouse’s Tale and an untitled paste up in “Jess, To and From the Printed Page”.

“The Mouse’s Tale” is a piece of work that he uses to express his rebellion toward the world. The largest man in the middle of the collage might be representing Jess, and the head portraits are lined up on the side might be representing the different kinds of people in the world. Jess is agitated by these many kinds of people. He does not want to be bothered and he just wants to smash them away from his world. Jess wants to be able to enjoy in his own space.

In the collage, the man’s head first caught my attention. It has a weird form, because the head is not round. Then, when I looked closely, I found that there’re many little men within the head. All the little men have different gestures, and I realized that this is reason the head doesn't look round. Following the directions given by the little man’s gesture, my sight traveled down to the neck and then the shoulders. From the shoulder to the wrist of the man’s hand, the little men have their legs closed, but at the tips of the fingers, their legs are spread apart. With their legs spread apart, the legs actually form the shape of a hand with fingers. Also, the feet serve as finger nails. The man might be able to use especially his finger nails to scratch his enemies when smashing them.

My eye sight then traveled back to the shoulders of the man and then to his left arm. Opposite to the little man in the man’s right arm, the little men in the left arm to left hand have entirely their body coiled up. And the coiled up structure helped shape the form of a fist. The man seemed to be using his fist to hold his head. He is acting politely to listen to those people who are laughing in front of him. However, behind his pretence, he hates those people deeply that he has to smash them at their faces, since they have the emphasis on their faces to laugh at the man.

Afterward, I put my focus to the man’s body, because there’s a dark blue spot around his stomach area. After I carefully examine the spot, I see that it is actually a man with only a body and small hands. The man’s head tilted forward; he seemed to be interested in seeing the emotions of the people outside and in line beside the wall. This dark blue man may be the spirit of the large man who directs actions for him. Since he can sense the emotions of the evil people outside, and he knows the characteristics of the man, he can motivate him take his revolt.

Later, my eyes sights were down the bottom at the man’s hips. His hips are the only parts in the body that have form. And they also have a different color than the body. It is the color of yellow grayish. Inside the left hip, there is a woman laughing and she might also be laughing at the man. Moving down from the left hip, I see the left thigh which is got the yellow grayish color disappeared. And there I see the little men again. Soon, I see two head portraits when I reached the left calve. One is of an old man, and the other one is of young man. They both have mean looks on their face. It might be that they are unsatisfied at the large man. Combining the laughing woman and these two mean men, it points out that the large man must be tired of dissatisfactions, lots of requirements and mockeries. Underneath the large man’s calve; the little men appeared again in the left foot. However, the little men seemed to be tiring and burdensome since they have to bear the weight of the whole body. They have gestures that they are carrying the body. After the left foot, my eyes moved to the right foot. There are also little men in the right foot. However, contrary to my prediction, the little men in the right foot are not burdensome at all like the little men in the left foot; they are instead fooling around. One of the little men is even lying down and is playing with his legs. All of the facts that little men coiled themselves up in the left side, little men at the bottom left side have to bear with the weight of the whole body, and the there are troublesome people in the left leg reveal the audience that the man hates face people since the left side of his body is facing the crowd.

After examining the large man, I looked to the left side of the collage. I realized that there’re a bunch of head portraits lining along the side and making a circle at the bottom. All the head portraits are smiling. However, there’re different types of people. The first and second head portraits are two boys, the third head portrait is a woman, the fourth one is an old man, the fifth one is clown, the sixth and seventh ones are young men and the eighth one is a bald old man. The head portraits in the circle that’s at the bottom are also of different kinds of people. Starting from the yellow greenish one that’s on the right of the eighth head portrait, it is of a religious man because he has a small head cloth on. Moving to the right, there is the head portrait of a clown. And then next to him, it’s a man with a curly mustache and a mariner who has a blue cap on is following him. The next ones are three actors, because they all have red caps on and seemed to also have made up on. Following them is two soldiers who have green helmets on. And finally, a laughing clown is the last one and is closing the circle. To me, the line and the circle of head portraits symbolize the death penalty, hanging. Also I realized at last that there is a lion on the very top of the college. The body of the lion is slim that looks like a branch of the tree. And usually people hang themselves using the branches. The fact that the man is scared to face people and the lined up portraits look like the rope for hanging, it implies that evil people in world are forcing the large man to hang himself. However, with his rebellion at heart, the man still wishes to defeat all the evils in the world by rising himself to power.

At last, the sudden change from human’s head portraits to a lion’s head portrait not only surprises me but also tells me that Jess wanted to emphasize the cruelty of people in the world. Even though the people are laughing apparently, but deep in their heart, they think of condemnation of others. Overall, Jess’ collage The Mouse's Tale is a meaningful piece of artwork that helped him in delivering his thinking that people in the society are often cruel and selfish and that agitated him to push away the society and rather to be left alone.

The untitled paste up in fact another art work that Jess uses to expresses his rebellion to the world. When I looked at the collage, I immediately noticed the big skull that’s to the right and on top. It is round and has the colors white and gray. After I looked at it more, I saw it has a face of a young man on it and a neck connected to it. At the back of his neck, I also saw a loudspeaker coming off from the neck. The look of the young man seems is upset, since he closed his eyes and put his head down. Underneath the young man’s skull is another skull. This skull has the white color and the round shape as well. However, unlike the one of the young man, it has no face and no neck but a long tongue that’s stretching out. The tongue that is out seems to be engulfing the little man who’s in front of him. Technically, it is a normal skull that has huge holes on its eyes, nose and mouth since everything else has been decomposed. The orientations of the skulls are interesting, because the young man’s skull seems to be kissing the skull that’s underneath it.

Underneath the real skull is a face of another young man. This young man is looking up to the right and seemed puzzled. In front of the face of the young man, I saw a man standing and lifting his right hand up. This man is blackened. To the left of the blackened man, I see a white mouse with a black dot on his body. The mouse is about one half the height of the man, and is walking toward the man. On top of the mouse, there are two needles, which are pointing to each other with their tips. Then I saw the little man who is in the danger of being eaten by the skull because he’s hand is inside the skull. Besides the white mouse, there is a butterfly and a man. The man is apparently trying to attack the butterfly. And next to him, I saw five people who all look to different directions. Both the tallest woman and the black woman behind her were looking to the front, the audience. The other woman behind the tallest woman was looking to the left. Finally, the woman who’s the shortest and is in front of everyone is looking up. On top of these people was a priest who has a sign inside his hand. On it, I saw an laughing evil. My eye sights quickly caught the big man on the top left corner. He is a middle aged white man and was trying to light the stick to fire. However, there is also a blue horse and angels flying around the stick. They all seem to be excited to witness the fire.

By this time, my eye sights traveled to the pathway that’s behind the people on the boarder. On it, there are people lying on it. They all seemed to be overwhelmed, because they look frightened. They recoil their bodies trying to build protection.

Later, my eyes noticed the table and the couple on the pathway. On the table, there are accessories. And the woman in the couple is stabbing the man at the end of the path way.

At last, I saw a wall and a man with a large head but small body on the right. The man is pulling the table backward. And he looked stressful, since he’s curling his back in order to move the table.

After connecting to Jess’ romantic imaginations, the young man’s skull might be Jess’ and the real skull might be Duncan’s. Since Duncan died first, his skull is already decomposed while Jess’ is still in use by the face and the brain. Jess’ skull has a functioning brain in it. There is a gray cerebrum in his skull while there is only an empty cerebrum in Duncan’s. However, because of Jess’ passionate love to Duncan, his skull is kissing Duncan’s. Jess shows that he misses Duncan and is grudging that he died so soon. The loudspeaker on Jess’ neck also shows that Jess wants to announce his love for Duncan. Certainly, Duncan did not want to die that soon either, he wanted to live longer to express his love to Jess. Therefore, Duncan’s tongue is not decomposed all the way; he wanted it the most to praise Jess. However, the little man who’s risking his hand, he might be one of rumormongers who are curious about the gay marriage between Duncan and Jess. He’s now testing the love Duncan has for Jess by troubling Duncan’s ability to speak. Certainly, controversies of Jess and Duncan’s marriage are inevitable. The puzzled face on the bottom right hand corner should be the way Jess looks like when he feels agitated from rumors.

For jess, after Duncan’s death is everything is uninteresting. Therefore, he placed a blackened man in front of his puzzle look. Jess discloses the importance of Duncan in his heart by isolating himself from the world. Also, after the death of Duncan, Jess’ was mentally ill, and needed for cure. Therefore, there are two needles pointing at Jess’ Puzzled look. The white mouse which has a black dot on its body implies Jess’ depression. Jess thinks that the white and beautiful world built by him and Duncan is ruined because of the absence of Duncan. To Jess, everything in the world seemed messed up after Duncan’s death. The man who is attacking the butterfly represents the adversaries for gay marriage, while the butterfly represents gay marriage. Jess is annoyed that the adversaries were trying to illegalize gay marriage, which means to sabotage Duncan and Jess’ marriage.

For the five people on the bottom left corner, they might symbolize Jess’ friends. Jess expresses his disappointment that his friends excused themselves from helping when he asked and started to distance themselves from him after Duncan’s death. In the collage, all five people were looking at different directions and one of them were holding a sign of evil, which means that they might speak of evil behind Jess’ back. Next, the middle aged man who’s lighting the stick might be symbolized as God. Certainly, the blue horse and angels around the stick should be witnessing the fire of the city. Since says in the bible God dislikes gay marriages, and he had fired two cities, Sodom and Gomorrah, because the people living in them were gay. Jess points out his risk to live in the society where adversaries like God are wrathful toward gay marriages. This can be why the male nudes laying on the path are frightened. Even facing the fury of God, Jess still stands for his marriage. He holds onto his belief because he does not often see successful marriage between women and men. He set up an example by having a woman killing his husband at the end of the pathway. Jess is ready for punishment from God, even though it might be the eternality torments. He will be as the man who is pulling the table forward but still looking at the back. Jess will accept God’s punishment, but will still hold on to Duncan and his marriage, a sin under God’s eyes.

In conclusion, Jess is not only a “San Franciso Renaissance Artist”, but also a Romantic artist. His artworks are added with his imaginations, which are invoked by his motions. Jess does not force a fixed imagination on an artwork, he let his mood and emotions freely lead him to imagine in the painting process. In Jess’ life, rebellion is also one crucial theory, since most of his paste ups follow that trend.








Work Cited


Auping, Michael. “Interview with Jess.” Jess, A Grand Collage 1951-1993. Feb- Oct 1983. Apr 1992 – Jan 1993.

“Interview with Jess” is done by the interviewee Michael Auping. He questioned Jess about his background, his theories and his ways of producing art. Specifically, Jess explained his ways of seeing art romantically.


Auping, Michael. “Jess, A Grand Collage.” Jess, A Grand Collage 1951-1993. Ed. Spaulding, Karen, Lee. Jan 2001: 245.

This long composition explains detailedly about Jess’ background, including his childhood, education, career and art. It also analyzed Jess’ imaginations and styles for art that Jess has three unique kinds of works. The composition then explained certain pieces of Jess’ work and reveals how Jess was influenced by his life long partner, Robert Duncan. Jess’ and Duncan’s encounter and living styles were also described in the book.

Auping, Michael. Interview with Jess. Jess: Paste ups and Assemblies. 1983.

This book is a catalog of works that Jess has done. A small interview is included in it that Jess tells he likes to go shopping a lot since he can find random but useful materials for his producing of collages. And those materials sometimes give him the imagination, as Jess says he does not create art, its art that requests him to create them.

Auping, Michael. “Solar Systems.” Art Forum. Apr 2004. 25-26.

This article introduced Jess as an artist who enjoys writing poems and producing artworks. He likes to be with artistic people, such as poets, writers, curators and collectors. However, the article also mentions that Jess is a timid person who stayed in his house most of the time. In Jess’ younger days, he used to have a dream that the world would crash in 1975. As a result, Jess abandoned his career in Chemistry for pursuing art. Jess eventually studied art in San Francisco Institute of Art.

Auping, Michael. “Songs of Innocence.” Art in America . Jan 1987. 118-127.

The article introduced Jess as a reclusive artist who works with a variety of media. Jess was involved in the 1950s California Poetry Renaissance and was interested in connecting myths to his work. Jess’ life long partner, Robert Duncan, inspired Jess to even more connect poetry with art. Specifically, Jess’Translation is a series of work that are transposed from obscure photographs or artworks.

Baker K. “Jess Collins- San Francisco, Collage Artist” Chronicle Staff Writer. Jan 2007.

The article is mainly composed of a brief biography on Jess and a few small interviews on Jess’ neighbor. It tells that Jess was born in Long Beach, California, but was raised in Southern California suburds; Jess switched ended his carrer in Chemistry to pursue Art in 1949; and his start developing his art after moved in with his partner Robert Duncan. Most of Jess’ neighbor were amazed and proud of this San Francisco Renaissance artist, especially the curator of the San Francisco Museum was shocked by Jess’ collages.

Duncan, Michael. “Jess (1923-2004).” Art in America. Mar. 2004: 160.

Duncan tells that Jess is an independent artist who builds connections between his works and literature. Jess often produces art according to legends and myths though he worked in the Chemistry field once by producing plutonium. Jess was eventually enrolled in California School of San Francisco in 1949 and started his art journey since then.

Gluck, Robert. “Jess, the Mouse’s Tale, 1951.” Art Forum. Mar 2000 : 118-19.

The major part of the article is Gluck’s analysis on Jess’ first of’ “paste ups”, “The Mouse’s Tale”’. Gluck introduced Jess with Jess’ Chemitry background and how he at the end decided to abondon Chemistry for Art. At the sametime Jess also droped his last name and left his family because of Art. Gluck also reveals that Jess was obsessed with the tale “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.” that Jess worked on some of his pieces based on the tale.

“Jess (1923-2004).” Artweek. Mar 2004 :35.

Jess died at home in San Francisco on Jan 2, 2004. He died at the age of 80 with the name known as a painter and a collagist. Jess was born on Aug. 6. 1923, has worked as a chemist and then devoted to Art. Jess became known by his abstract paintings and collages in the early 1950s.

FRUGÉ, Anne. “Interview with Host Curator Peter Mears.” Jess: To and From the Printed Page. < http://www.hrc.utexas.edu/multimedia/audio/>

Through interviewing the hose curator Peter Mears, Fruge learns about Jess’ characteristics on his development of art as well as some of his techniques. She learned that Jess’ main theory is to put together pieces representing different parts of the world to make them equal to each other, because Jess believes that everything in the earth has connection with each other. Fruge also learned about certain pieces of Jess’ work that are being shown in the exhibition “Jess: To and From the Printed Page.”

Mario, Naves. “Jess: a Grand Collage.” The New Criterion. Dec 1994:47.

Reiview of the exhibition “Jess: a Granf Collage; 1951-1993”. Jess’ work is obseesive and private which wass bizarre match up with the works in the folk museums. However, Jess’ vision is narrow. His art is usually compelling to those wo favor profundity.

“Historical Consideration” Romanticism.


A summary of the hostry on Romanticism. There are Romantics Periods, Romantic Poets, Romantic Music, Romantic Painter. Some important Romantic themes are Fantasy, Emotion, Nature, Freedom, and Yearning.

Pee, Yasmine. “Jess: To and From the Printed Page: San Jose Musuem of Art.” Modern Painters. Aug 2007 : 83.

An exhibition of works by Jess Collins is in the San Jose Museum of At in California. The most heart-shocking in the exhibition should be Jess’ abstract but gorgeous collage. Since Jess adds words or literature symbols to his art, he is also viewed as a literary artist.




Work Consulted


Duncan, Michael. “Maverick Modernist.” Art in America. Nov. 1994: 92-7.

The article introduced that Jess is a Bay Area Artist who had the resropective exhibition title “Jess: A Grand Collag 1951-1993.” In the Albright – knox Art Gallery, Buffalo, New York. Jess’ works can be refered to images from the late 19th and 20th century to present. Jess is interested in narration, mythology and symbolism. The drawing and collage “Narkissos” is considered to be Jess’ master piece although it is never finished.

“Romanticism.” Art History.

Romanticism has origins that can influence. It has comparable variety, reach, and power since the end of the Middle Ages. Beginning in the 18th century, Romanticism transformed into poetry, the novel, drama, painting, sculpture, all forms of concert music and dance, especially opera and ballet. It was also connected with the politics of the time, stimulating people's fears, hopes, and aspirations. Romanticism was the voice of revolution at the beginning of the 19th century and the voice of the Establishment at the end of it.

Smith, K.E. An Analysis of William Blake’s Early Writings and Designs of 1790, including Songs of Innocence. Queenston, Ontario. 1999.

This book has an analysis on William Blakes’s Songs of Innocence. It is crucial to the research of Jess because Jess produced an artwork based on the Songs of Innocence.

Spievogel, Jackson. Western Civilization , Comprehensive Volume. 2003.

In a Chapter of this book, Jackson explained about Romanticism starting with its rising, movements and the most prosperous time periods. Jackson specifically relates the Romanticism with the Medieval time arts.

Wu, Duncan, “Introduction” Romanticism. Massachusetts: Cambridge. 1994.

The introduction explains that Romanticism is to a redefinition that can cause others have never perceived themselves as advocates to perceive in the way as the imagists or the Pre- Raphaeliete Brotherhood. It also tells that Romantics are sometimes artists of sensibility.

In Class SAT Prompt Writing

Discovery VII

I forgot the prompt for this essay, but this is what I have..^^


Having failures is an inevitable process in our life. We might have committed millions of mistakes, and even sometimes repeated the same mistakes. However, these do not mean complete failures, because we put in efforts to correct our mistakes. The crucial point is that we learn in the process of wronging and correcting.

I remember joining a youth biking class when I was living in China. I was only five years old. I had not any skills on biking. I was only used to those little tricycles. For the first class, I cowardly went to the gym with a few of my friends. I saw those brand new bicycles and helmets on the ground. They were just waiting for us. But I was too scared to even touch my bike. I was just standing there, looking at other classmates to take the new bikes and helmets. The teacher, detected my reaction, came to me and said “Have a little courage, Shuyi. Get on and I will hold your bike for you” I got on my bike as she told me to. The teacher kept holding on my bike as I was stomping the pedal slowly. We circulated the gym a few times, and I was getting my confidence back. Then, the faster the teacher walked, the faster I tried to stomp the pedal. My heart started to calm and my mind was telling me that “everything will be all right and biking should be fun. It is as easy as walking.” However, all of a sudden, my teacher let go of my bike. My heart then started beating as fast as it could get, and my mind was telling me that “You are going to die or at least get limped”. Scared by my own imagination, I lost control of my bike, and felt badly on the ground. My calves’ skins got scratched, and were bleeding a lot. I cried. I cried as my parents have abandoned me. My teacher then came quickly to me with some sterile gauze. She smiled while looking at my silly face, and said “Shuyi, biking is not that bad as you imagine. Come, have another try!”. My teacher held me up. She instructed me again the last process. This time, I said to my self “Shuyi Guo, you are not that bad! Now be brave to bike even you’ll die from it!” I kept on thinking my sentence while I let my legs to stomp as fast as they could. Finally, my teacher let go and I was on my own!

This is how I learned biking. It is not from never falling on the ground, never getting scratches, or never being bleeding. But I learned from never giving up!

Discussion on Reading Lolita in Tehren

Reading Lolita in Tehren is the independent reading book that Erika, Linda and I read and discussed on. The following blog entries are my contributions to the discussion.


December 2, 2007 8:19 PM
I agree with Erika that the girls and Nafisi were helping each other, because they suffer from “both the tragedy and absurdity of the cruelty.”(23). They lost their freedom and are even forced to comply, they can not find a way to escape “cruelty”. In order to survive, they have to “poke fun at our [their] own misery.” (23) In other words, they have to look for fun in their lives in order to keep it moving on, since the thinking of “cruelty” is not going to get them anywhere or granting them any accomplishments. The girls and Nafisi need to have positive thinking while knowing the existence of “cruelty”. For them, they believe that literature is meaningful and comforting; therefore they meet every Thursday to discuss literature. Also, Nafisi explains that they chose literature because it is “not a luxury but a necessity.” (23).


December 7, 2007 7:14 AM
Sorry that I’m blogging so late. But I got some cool quotes to share. First, I want to emphasize the difference between Nafisi’s and some women’s view toward the veil and others’ view toward it. On pg. 164, she describes Mr.Bahri’s view, “Mr. Bahri could not understand why we were making such a fuss over a piece of cloth. Did we not see that there were more important issues…” Mr. Bahri, as a man, does not care much about the veil and he thinks that women should just put them on to make peace. Obviously, he does not consider the veil as a big issue. However, Nafisi and some other women conclude that the veil is a significant issue that affects their freedom, respect and dignity. They’re sure that once that give in to the veil issue, which is a visual representation of their compliance, more unreasonable requirements would be enforced. Also, on pg. 167, Nafisi describes the actually look after she wore the black robe, “a very wide black robe that covered me down to my ankles, wide and long…my whole body disappeared and what was left was a piece of cloth that shape my body that moved here and there, guided by some invisible force.”, which the force symbolizes the unreasonable requirements from the Islamic Republic, and it’s “invisible” because the Islamic republic does not show its authority which seizes people’s freedom to express , but it exists behind all the physical controls.


December 7, 2007 10:43 PM
Hi guys, It’s me sharing again..

I found a funny passage on page 201 that describes a lame conversation between Daisy Miller’s translator and the writer, Mr. Davaii. In it, the writer messes up with the background of translator and the knowledge of literature. “The novelist says, Your name is familiar- aren’t you the translator Henry Miller? No, Daisy Miller. Right, didn’t James Joyce write that? No, Henry James. Oh yes, of course, Henry James. By the way what’s Henry James doing nowadays? He’s dead- been dead since 1916.” (201) I think this is a fantastic example to reflect what the Islamic Republic is doing to the American Literature. Like the writer who offends both the translator and the literature, the Islamic Republic offends the Americans and their literature. It automatically depreciates the American literature without ever exploring the American literature, getting into depth it and opening for positive views. It condemns the American literature with only the negatives view on its mind and savagely dictates others’ thinking. Also on page 205, Mr. Forsati explains why the Iranians dislike Henry James, but not James Joyce: “That’s different, they respects Joyce the way they respect Tarkovsky. With James, they think they understand him, or that they should understand him, so they just get angry.”(205) I agree with Mr. Forsati that the Iranians are acting as the writer who thinks he knows the background and the literature, they think that they know James and understand him. Therefore they felt free slandering James. And according to Mr. Forsati, the Republic only “treats something with respect” (205) for the “less it understood.”(205) In fact, I believe this is not only true with the Islamic Republic, but also true with us that we are afraid to offend things that we not yet have knowledge on. However, we are different that we don’t condemn things that we only thought we have knowledge on.


December 11, 2007 7:10 PM
I definitely agree with Erika that “women were so discriminated”, because I found that quote to be astonishing when I was reading it too. I also compared us against them. I found that most of us, people who live in the United States, often take our freedom for grant. We use our freedom of speaking to slander, to complain and to contaminate the communicative world. We also use the freedom of acts to commit unnecessary things, we fight, we steal, and we even murder. While we are misusing our freedom, ironically, the women in Iran wouldn’t even dare to think of owning freedom. They just simply hope to live peacefully. In their mind, not having big events happened, neither exciting nor depressing, would contribute to the greatest celebration.


December 11, 2007 9:12 PM
When Erika says “You get the feeling that even at school it was a constant war and that there was no peace.” she reminds me a quote that’s says “They started shouting slogans... ‘War! War! Until Victory!” (211) This quote clearly serves as an evidence for the fact that there was always war and has no peace. The Islamic Republic is determined to win that they would not stop until they see “victory!” This is totally unacceptable to me because it’s not a modicum of people who suffer from the war; it’s the whole country that’s suffering.

Also, the student who burned himself leaves me a strong impression. He burns himself to represent himself as a sacrifice to the death of Khomein and termination of war. He holds his cloth of the slogan while burning himself “Whether we kill or are killed we are victorious! We will fight! We will die! But we won’t accept compromise!” (251) This is aggravating because it escalates the determination for war. The student is a prime example of those extremes who never gives up war until “Victory!” And in fact, the extremes explain why “there’s always war and there was no peace.” Because even though the actual war has stopped, there might be many others supporting wars are stubborn to have “victory!” They fight not only in their mind, but also fight in the society. They sway the public opinion as the student did while burning himself.


December 16, 2007 3:10 PM
Hey guys, I found a very interesting quote on pg 313-314, it says “We were unhappy. We compared our situation to our own potentials, to what we could have had, and somehow there was little consolation in the fact that millions of people were unhappier than we were. Why should other people’s misery make us happier or more content?” People living in Iran are “unhappy”, because they compare to people are living in peaceful countries, and they’re still under the control of the Islamic Republic. Even though the war ended, there’re Revolutionary Guards who investigate and arrest those who do not follow the Islamic rule. A number of people were suspected to be killed by the Islamic Regime. The “best-known expert on ancient Iran” (310) , Jahangir Tafazoli, the “well known translator and publisher” (309), Ahmad Mir Alai, and a “well know leftist journalist, the editor of a popular magazine” (309) were the suspects, but they are ironically claimed to be dying in accidents. Writers in Iran were severely threatened everyday, fearing that they’ll lose their lives.

However, people living in Iran became happy when they think of others who are living more badly than they are. “Why do they feel this way?” was the question asked at the end. In fact, the Iranians could only comfort themselves by thinking of others who are worst. They know how their situation really is: they don’t only lack freedom, but their chances to continue living are also in doubt. In their situations, they find no hope, so they either comply or rebel. In Nafisi’s case, she chose to rebel. She can not silence herself as Mrs. Rezvan suggested “we should be used to all of this.” (313) Nafisi has her dignity, she says to her self that “I [she] can’t live like this anymore” (313). And in fact her dignity provides her wisdom and opportunity. She knows that once she conform or “be used to all of this” (313), more will be asked. As the veil issue that demanded women to wear the veil in the University, but “Soon we [they] were forced to wear it [the veil] everywhere.” (153). Nafisi also had the opportunity to go to US, which is “a road that is open and full of light” (337)


December 16, 2007 4:40 PM
Hi, me again!
This quote is also worth to see, “To him [Nassrin’s father] these people [the regime guards], no matter what we think of them, they’re our people”. (321) I’m surprised when I saw this quote. I couldn’t understand how the father can still endure the wrong doings of the regime. The regime seizes its people’s right: freedom, and lives. It forces them to wear the veil, despise Western literature and give up their right to speak up. It also harms them brutally: the guards strike, arrest and even murder. The mistake and damage the regime made was huge that they shouldn’t be ignored. And the mind of Nassrin’s father is not acceptable.

Also, I found his father to be contradicting himself when he defends the regime and says “they’re our people” (321) and on the other hand, he is blaming on Nassarin for seeking a better life, “My father says that if I [Nassarin] insist on going ahead with this crazy plan, I’m [Nassarin is] on my [her] own.” (321) So, her father is saying that Nassarin is not even his people then? Since he depends “his people” but not Nassarin. He further more complains that he loses two daughters: he loses one when “it was the class” (321) and the second one “now” (321) when Nassarin decides to go for London. In fact, all Nassarin wants is just a better life, a life with hope and freedom, and a life that every Iranian wants, but not everyone dares to seek.

Nassarin declares that hope is what actually encourages her to live on. She says “I miss the sense of solidarity we had in jail, the sense of purpose… I miss the hope. In jail, we had the hope that we might get out, go to college, have fun, go to movies.” (323) Ironically, Nassarin is more hopeless after she gets out of jail. She is “secret and hidden” (323) that she can not express her own thinking. She is forced to comply under the regime. And most importantly she does not understand the meaning of living and “what it means to love”. (323) In Iran, Nassarin is corrupted, restricted, and “hidden”. And she only can leave to pass her “ordeal of freedom” (323)


December 23, 2007 8:42 AM
First of all, Merry Christmas!! Then, Happy New Year!
Ok, that’s good! Now, let me say that I have to agree with Erika. Nafisi married her first husband because she couldn’t handle the situation that her father was in jail and she was so innocent back then. Also, I believe that women of that period didn't have much freedom to choose who to love or to marry. Nafisi might have suffered from the lack of freedom that she needed to marry her first husband in order to release her father from jail.

For epilogue, Nafisi says that “I left Tehran on June, 24, 1997, for the green light that Gatsby once lived in.” (341) Nafisi chased “green light” as the way Gatsby chases it. She wanted freedom as Gatsby wanted the love from Daisy. And she is as stubborn as Gatsby. To Nafisi, freedom is the most important. She rather leaves her country, but not gives in to the authoritarian control of the Islamic Republic.

Nafisi also concludes that the “shape of our [Iranians’] future” (341) is determined by the “children of revolution”. (341) She believes that the hope for Iranians to save themselves from the authoritarian power lies on the shoulders of the young, and points out that they should be the ones to run Iran.

At last, I was touched by the last couple sentences that Manna says, “Each morning with the rising of the routine sun as I wake up and put on my veil before the mirror to go out and become a part of what is called reality.”(341) Manna’s giving in to the veil represents an act of reality. She gives in to the Islamic public for saving her job, her status in society and her life. And this is called “reality”. (343) However, Manna has “another I [she]” (343) who does not exist in reality and who does not give in to the Islamic Republic. She lives in a “fictional world” (343) and she is “naked on the pages of a book” (343). Manna has created another herself to make up for her disloyalty to her beliefs - she wore the veil to fight against her mind. Manna satisfies her mind in the “fictional world”. She releases herself by expressing her thinking and sharing them on the “pages of a book”, since in the “fictional world” the Islamic republic cannot control Manna’s mind. The Islamic republic cannot read her mind, cannot stop her mind from thinking, or force her mind into thinking something. Therefore, Manna will stay with us in the “fictional world “as long as you keep me [her] in your eye” (343) as the way Nafisi stays with us as long as we understand her thoughts.


December 24, 2007 3:30 AM
Hi guys, after reading “Reading Lolita in Tehran”, I feel like I have taken the freedom to read for granted. I have been some many times offered books, but I have rejected all of them. I honestly don't like reading. I always think that reading is boring, and useless, so I’ve never hit on books. Plus, I think that I can always get the book I need, it is either in libraries or in bookstores. I have never imagined reading to be impossible. I thought that it is and has always been available to people. But after reading this book, I learned that there are really some people who have no choice to choose what they read. Like the students in the University of Tehran, they were forced to read only certain books and they were told to only memorize. They didn't have a choice, “From the first day they had set foot in elementary school, they had been told to memorize. They had been told that their own opinions counted for nothing.” (220) The students are only to listen and follow the Islamic republic. Therefore, the Iran can never reset its governing system if no young is going to speak up or revolt.

After reading the book, I also learned books are some times crucial to people, they are just like their medicines. I believe Nafisi is one of those people who need books as medicines. On page 170, Nafisi says that “If I turned towards book, it was because they were the only sanctuary I know, one needed in order to survive, to protect some aspect of myself that was now in constant retreat.” (170) Books are the element that Nafisi needed for “surviving” and “protecting” her thinking. She needed books to express her and to speak up for righteousness. Although her thinking “was now in constant retreat” (170), Nafisi has never given up on them or reading. She holds on her beliefs no matter what happens. I truly appreciate Nafisi’s persistence on books even though I don't like reading books. She was brave enough to gather around her students to read every Thursday in the danger of being arrested. However, Nafisi’s persistence on books is actually advantageous for her. In a time of censorship, she needed her persistence to satisfy her desire. Because she loves reading so much, she needed to stand side for the books in order to quiet her conflicts. As the book says “we must for dear make our own counter-realities.” (216) And Nafisi has made her “counter-realities” by establishing her class to reading the "forbidden books".


December 24, 2007 7:23 AM
It’s me again! I think this is very funny, “I said to him that I wanted to write a book in which I would thank the Islamic Republic for all things it has taught me- to love Austen and James and ice cream and freedom.” (338) This is amusing because Nafisi says this in an ironic way and the fact that she was actually writing the book to report the mistreating of Iran to its people. She is obviously not thanking the Islamic Republic. She thanks it because it forced her to love things she is grateful to have. The things that Nafisi loves are Austen, James, ice cream and freedom. Austen, because Austen’s novels are innovative that women in them are “rebels”. (307) They do not obey to the choices their “silly mothers and incompetent fathers” made for their marriages. Austen’s novels are risky that the women stake their life on their own choices for marriages, “they risk ostracism and poverty to gain love and companionship.” (307) Nafisi loves the way Austen openly writes her novel and she appreciates Austen’s boldness and writing skills.

Nafisi loves James, because James, as Austen, is brave to suggest his idea that “we must for dear life make our own counter- realities.”(216) He disliked “political power” (216), but favored “cultural power”. (216) He says that “independence of thought” (216) is a man’s “greatest freedom” (216), therefore he enjoyed the invincible freedom to wander his mind. Overall, Nafisi loves writers who are brave enough to write about the truth and to write with their choices, because she is one herself.

Nafisi lastly loves ice cream and freedom. I think this is very funny: Ice cream and freedom together? Well, I love ice cream too; it’s even my favorite food. But, I’ve never thought of comparing it freedom. This is why I say Nafisi is an open and bold writer as Austen and James?


December 27, 2007 9:17 AM
Hi guys, How was Christmas? I hope your guys had a great Christmas and will be having an awesome New Year!! And since there is still time, I want to post one more entry. It’s on pg. 327 and is continued with Erika’s thought that women were mistreated during the time of the book. “The worst fear you can have is losing you faith. Because then you’re not accepted by anyone – not by those who consider themselves secular or by people of your own faith.” It is true that losing faith could be the “worst fear”. A person loses his/her religion is usually discriminated, which at the end causes him/her to feel misery. This is the exact situation of Mahshid and Yassi. They are born Islamite, and they “guarded” (327) Islam. Ironically, they did not “guard” Islam because of their passion to it, but because of fear. As Yassi says “ever since we [Mahshid and she] could remember, our religion has defined every single action we’ve taken.” (327), she reveals that they first believe in Islam because they are born with it. They did not have a choice. They know that their religion is authoritarian; it controls their “every single action”. And they indeed no more feel God, no more feel sanctified and no more find purpose. They know that they no more truly believe. (327) However, they still “believe”- physically follow the things Islamite do, because they fear. They fear that they will not be accepted, and they doubt of lives with changed religion. As a result, they hide their true feelings in heart, but continuing to suffer from “believing” a religion that they find no meanings.

Also, Mahshid writes in her diary that “During the Shah’s time, I felt I was the minority and I had to guard my faith against all odds. Now that my religion is in power, I feel more helpless than ever before, and more alienated.” (327) Mahshid and Yassi feel “helpless” because when Islam at first was lack of power, thus, they were forced to keep believing in it, they needed to “guard” it. But, when Islam is in power now, it does not change anything, Mahshid and Yassi still had to believe in it. They know that they might never be able to escape from Islam. Mahshid and Yassi feel “alienated” because they saw that their once-minor religion is no more weak, it is even outrageous now. When they saw the Islamic republic destroying others, they recognize no more the meek countenance of the republic; they saw a countenance now with evilness and savage. At the end, Mahshid and Yassi lost track of thinking, they became “alienated” as the republic doesn’t know them or they have known the republic at the first place.

Notebook Entry on Hamlet, Act I, Scence IV

Discovery V
The gears may somehow represent fate .

Strand: Fortune and Fate


“So, oft it chances in particular men, that for some vicious mole of nature in them, as in their birth, where in they are not guilty (since nature cannot choose his origin)” (23-25)

Hamlet realizes the existence of fate. He concludes that fate might ruin Claudius, because of his defect of drinking. He suggests that drinking would “break down [Claudius’] pales and forts of reason”, or ruin his reputation no matter how many achieves Claudius has. In fact, Claudius’ defect of drinking symbolizes his sin of murdering his brother, King Hamlet. His ambition to become king and intention to kill King Hamlet might not have been his initiatives or have originated from him, because he “cannot choose his origin”. (25) Fate is the reason for everything, and Claudius does not have the power to compete against fate to choose his “origin” or characterization. Claudius can only depend upon fate and accept whatever fate gives him. Therefore, Claudius didn’t choose to be evil at the very first place.

Fate also destroys Claudius by giving him defects. Among the defects of Claudius, such as to kill King Hamlet, to seduce Queen Gertrude, and to ruin their prince Hamlet, even one of the defects is sufficient to trap Claudius, because it “shall in the general take [him] to corruption.” (34) Hamlet not only predicts but also ensures himself of Claudius’ outcome. He believes in fate that it would compensate Claudius whatever he deserves.

Page 9 of A Humument (I enjoyed analyzing the page and writing this paper :) )

On page 9 of Tom Phillips' A Humument, Phillips suggests that people in the society often live by systematically following the stages of life. He uses symbols such as color, lines, pictures and captions to point out this belief. The “pictures” Phillips uses are “interesting” because they are on the edges of the page. Touching the edges of the page, the pictures represent the three separated stages of life. These are the stage of marriage, stage of pursuing success and the stage of weakening. Each stage is in “different colour”, such as “brown”, “purple” and “red with white spots on it”. Phillips values the stages as the principles of life that he puts them in “my [his] boudoir”. The word “boudoir” has a meaning of a secret room; Phillips’ implies that he inscribes the principles of life – the three stages- in his “secret room” of his body, his heart. Phillips believes that the stages predict the happenings in people’s life.

Looking at Page 9, one would notice the black rectangle in the middle of the page at first. Its color, light black is the coolest color in the whole page. Also, the rectangle contains shapes that are in its contrary color- white, which makes the rectangle more obvious. Secondly, one would notice the picture that’s in red and white, because it’s next to the rectangle and red is the warmest color of the page. Plus, red is contrary to the color green, which is the color of the background. Immediately, one would set their eyes on the background, because its light green attracts eyes after seeing the red on the previous piece. The background also has many thin lines drawn on it. Phillips creates this sense of messiness to catches attentions. Speaking of attention, the background is crucial because it occupies most areas of the page. Next, two pictures that are on the right hand side would most likely catch one’s attention at the same time. Both “purple” and “brown” in the pictures are warm colors while the details drawn in them are equally complicated.

In the black rectangle, the color light black symbolizes the ignorant and empty minds that the youth have. Black can be related to the black hole, it gives a feeling of empty and nonexistence. The youth are too young that they have no experiences, therefore have no places or existences in the competitive adult world. However, the word “Come, toge” which means “come, together” calls on the union of youth to rebel their vulgar status in the world. The youth would “turn inside” into the problem; develop ideas in solving it and apply actions at last. Together, they would achieve the goal to leap out of the “light black rectangle” with “surprise”.

Marriage would be the first “surprise” that the youth encounter; it is the first stage in their life since they matures or get out of the “rectangle”. As on the first picture of the upper right hand corner, a man is stretching his hands. It makes sense that he is hoping to hug some one, who is mostly likely to be his spouse. Phillips implies that people would usually find the ones they love to hug or marry in life. In the picture, the man seems to be naked. Normally, one would be naked only to the other one he marries, because he loves and believes her. Phillips implies here that people often reveals their true selves to the one they love, and married, because they believe their lovers would understand. No matter how malice the true selves are, they are not shameful reveal the ugly faces to their spouses. Such as the man in the picture who has a strange body structure, his chest and stomach are concave instead of convex. However, he stretches out his hands instead of using them to cover his ugliness. The man is brave to show his defects, and believing in the acceptance and understandings of his lover. At last, the color of the picture “brown” hides special meanings behind the picture. Phillips attempts to emphasize the importance of marriage and forming a family by applying “brown”. “Brown” is a color that would appear every time when any three different colors mixed together. Phillips assigns each of the any three different colors a representation in a family: one color can be the mother, one can be the father and the last one can be the children. The mix of these three types of people perfectly forms elemental family, which is being symbolized by the color “brown”.

The second stage would be the stage when people pursue their successes. The color “purple” on the second picture of the right side, gives a feeling of mystery. The mysterious feeling from “purple” symbolizes the conspiracy in the world while people compete to achieve success. People in the society often trick and compete with each other. In the picture, there is a big gear in the right hand corner and two chains are connected to it. The function of a gear is to work continuously in completing its job. The gear here is symbolizing people who work toward success. People often have to work manually in order to get pay. Sometimes, they even have to push themselves to the peak. Not only requiring to work like the gear, people also have to favor others in the society in order to achieve. As in the picture, the gear connects itself with the chains, symbolizing that one has to please and interact with others. Ultimately, people would succeed when they “fulfill her [their] book” with “dedication”. Here, the “book” symbolizes the lives of people that people has to dedicate in their lives. They might have to give up, comply, but most importantly, they have exhaust themselves to the point that they “shall lie”, or stop. The word “lie” has a similar pronunciation with the word “die” which leads to the third stage of people’s lives.

The third stage would be the stage of weakening. Since the picture in the bottom left of the page is away from all other pictures and captions it symbolizes the ultimate ending of people – death. In the picture, there are white circular spots painted on the background which is in the color red. The white circular spots indeed symbolize the white blood cells in one’s body, while the background color “red” symbolizes the blood that contains the cells. Unfortunately after carefully seeing the picture, one would realizes that there are only white blood cells here. The blood actually lacks of red blood cells. Through this realization, one would quickly think of the incurable disease leukemia, and then would spontaneously think of death. Phillips, through the blood and blood cell symbols, reveals the hidden fact that people often die from diseases in the society.

At last, the background has the color light green. Green should a color that represents peace. However, the green on the background is only light green. Phillips implies that the peace is being taken off while people deceive and trick each other. The background also has many different curly lines on it. The lines actually represent the unique paths of people, while the curliness of them represents the intricacy of paths. Despite the many ways the lines would curl, the lines eventually connect to the three pictures, which mean the three stages of life. By linking the connections, Phillips attempts to tell people’s inevitable encounters to the three stages.

Concluding Page 9 of A Humument, it is a complicated page in which Phillips uses many little symbols to hide his beliefs behind the text and pictures. Phillip has his unique way of expressing the belief that people live their lives by following three main stages, the marriage stage, pursuing stage, and the weakening stage. Nevertheless, Phillips believes that people have to first mature or gain experiences on the world in order to get through these three stages. He suggests his ideas by neatly employing symbols that are mostly pictures and text.

Ch.34.5 of Memoirs of a Geisha (My favorite piece of work in English Class)

Five years after the chairman became my danna, I met Mr. Tanaka again. It has been 30 years since the last time we saw each other. We didn’t recognize each other of course. It was when some one addressed him “Tanaka-san” that I turned and realized his presence. I could no longer recognize his face, but I recognized his odor. It’s the odor that he gained from handling fish. Although he no longer runs his fish company, the odor was still remains, but it is still familiar and unique. Mr. Tanaka screamed when I went to him, but only his float did not allow him for the voice.

He was quite old, 74 years old, 16 years older than the Chairman. His lip is already concave into his mouth. I can see a few wrinkles near that area. And I assumed that’s where he lost his teeth. Wrinkles near Mr. Tanaka’s eyes were also obvious; they extend their lengths when he smiled.

Mr. Tanaka brought me to his table and invited to have tea with him. Once we started our conversation, he asked me about my life and my other half. He smiled peacefully when I told him I had once become a geisha, and have found a perfect danna myself. He congratulated vehemently when I told him about the Chairman and the things we have gone through. Sometime, I think Mr. Tanaka uses my fortunes in life to relieve his guilt by selling me. Later I asked him about his life and his company. But I could only look at his wrinkles and that I disregarded his talking. I cannot deny how many years have passed, and how old I was already-37 year old. My memories in Yoroido had mostly faded, but I still remembered the day Mr. Tanaka sold me and my sister, Satsu to Gion. I started being determined again; I wanted to ask him for the reason why he did that to us. I abruptly cut Mr. Tanaka’s talking and said “Mr. Tanaka, I…I… have an abrupt question to ask you, I ask your forgiveness me if I will be rude.” I took a deep breath myself, and was finally managed to say my question. But Mr. Tanaka was seeing through me, and he gave me my answer, “I did not sell you, Chiyo, you father did. I’m really sorry to tell you this, but your father begged me. Your father...”, not being able to endure what I learned: my father “begged” him to sell me, I cut Mr. Tanaka’s line, I heard myself say “Why did he do that me?” I was feeling the vehemence going up to my face and the conflicts were puzzling in my brain. Although I tried to get my emotion under control like a geisha would, I broke the silence as I said “why did my father hate me so much? I couldn’t understand…” At this point, Mr. Tanaka noticed my emotion and said “Chiyo, please don’t blame your father. You’ll never understand the pain he was suffering. He suffered the piercing through his heart every time he does the changes for you mother. He could not bear seeing her to grow skinnier day by day. He blamed himself so hard for not being able to rescue her.” I put down my face now, because I admit that I have never thought of my father’s feelings. “Chiyo, your father could not endure seeing your mother die. He could not let her go. And he grieved selling you and Satsu. He wanted to bring the two of you back, but he was dying himself too.” At this point, my face grew hotter, the voice “but he was dying himself too” was echoed in my mind and the burden in my heart seemed to aggravate. I thought of the face of my father: wide, old, and weary. I remembered the days my father came back from fishing, he was always so tire. I assumed that to be some reason to his sickness. Suddenly Mr. Tanaka raises his voice, “Chiyo, hatred should not occupy your heart. Forgive those who are gone.”

The word “Forgive” was circulating in my mind, fighting against my principle: to never forgive the one who sold me. I could no more bear the conflict inside my mind. Then I rudely excused myself. After I left Mr. Tanaka, I walked all the way down to Shijo Avenue, where Nobu chastened me for taking the general as my danna. I thought of Nobu for a while. I wonder how he is doing right now and also, if he has forgiven me yet. I suddenly found it ridiculous how I couldn’t forgive my father for selling me, and at the same time, I am longing for someone else’s forgiveness. Suddenly I wanted to go back to Yoroido, I wanted see our old tipsy house and the sea next to it. I did not know why, but I only thought Yoroido’s peace and the joy I had there when I was a child.

My College Essay (Best piece of work in English class)

Meditation

Hope
I looked around hoping to find a way to escape. Unfortunately, someone, I believe it was my father, dragged me to check in with him. Tears rolled down my eyes slowly reaching my cheek. I realized that we just left something behind, something very important: my mom. Every memory of my mom flooded a space in my brain. I told myself that I could never forget the look of my mom, especially on the day of my departure. I inscribed her red nose, watery eyes, and trembling “Good Byes” in my heart. I ensured her position in my heart and I somehow arrived in United States, on May, 13th, 2002 at the age of 12.

When I was little, I always noticed kids riding bikes and enjoying themselves. I envied their enjoyment of traveling free and feeling the wind. I imagined the freedom of biking as the freedom of life: to seek, to risk, and to accomplish. One day when I was five, my mom brought a bike home and I almost screamed when I first saw it. As I was making different poses with the bike, my mom dared me to ride the bike. With only my tricycle experiences, I fell on the ground quickly and my knees bled. Feeling the pain, I shouted: “I hate biking, and I will never bike again!” Immediately, my mom’s face fell. She walked toward me and said gently “My little Shuyi, I hope one day you’ll understand that life is like biking, it costs you pain for accomplishing. But remember: never give up even when there are great pains.”

Within a year of my arrival to the United States, my father remarried another woman, breaking the promise of bringing my mom to the United States. I remember crying that night after I discovered the news. I blamed my father for destroying everything and I told myself that I would never forgive him. How was my life going to be? How was my mom’s life going to be? How would my mom react when she learned the news? And what should I do? These unanswerable questions flowed through my mind.

Not long after my father’s marriage, a friend of mine brought me to a Chinese Christian church. There were a lot of kind and helpful people. They encouraged me to not worry about my mom’s situation and taught me a way of applying my mom to the United States. They told me that once I became 18 and a US citizen, I’d have the ability to apply for my mom. With the encouragement from both church friends and my mom, I was able to step out of the dark. I said to myself, I can be the one who makes changes for my life and I can take the lead.

I changed my view toward the world. I realized that life is not totally dim. Although it sometimes requires pain, it can also be the most colorful rainbow. I endured what has happened in my life and I opened my heart. I even forgave my father about two years ago. On his 44th birthday, while no one was celebrating for my father, I baked a cake and cooked a simple meal for him. It was only an “Angel Cake” and a few Chinese dishes. But my father gave me his brightest smile. Seeing his smile, I felt that all the hatred was miraculously gone. I realized that hatred is no longer important. Finally, I relaxed my burdened heart after all these years. For the first time, I was committed to retain memories about my father: I inscribed his smile in my heart.

It has been five years now since my arrival to the United States. I have to conclude that I’ve learned tremendously during these years. I understand my father’s not applying for my mom is not the end of the world. I understand hatred wouldn’t benefit anyone. And I understand being open-minded is as important as getting good grades in school. As always, I remind myself of the responsibility to apply my mom to the US. I know the process will take time, but I’m happy to tell that I’ve already started my first step: I’m applying for the United States citizenship. I know my hope is coming along, and I believe my reunion with my mom will be precious after all these years.